In These Eyes
by Furu Kei
Summary: Grandfather wonders as he arranges Omiais, and Konoka tries to explain. AU with slightly different take on Konoka's personality. KonoSetsu Oneshot. Can you see the person reflected in her eyes?


_In These Eyes_

**A/N:** …written because I tend to forget who I am and what I am doing…sometimes.

Disclaimer: Furu does not own _Negima_.

**Notes:** Konoka's thoughts are in _/italics/_

_In these eyes...you are all I see._

_------_

He stood facing the window, watching the students walk to and fro in the school yard below. His back was to her as she sat by the desk, yet she could tell that he was pensive, as his right hand was in constant motion as he rubbed his beard. A habit, she noted, that occurred only when he was troubled about something.

Not that he ever made it easy for people to see what he was thinking of…

"I've arranged another Omiai for you tomorrow at noon, granddaughter. I've already sent a note to Negi, for you to be excused from class."

His voice was impartial as he spoke, and she found herself wondering what he was feeling beneath that calm exterior. He was avoiding her, she knew. Because if there was anything Konoe Konoka is good at, it would be reading other people's emotions through their eyes. The twinkled mask of his cheery façade were of no exception. 

She smiled with sad acknowledgment. They were so alike sometimes…

As it should be. She was his granddaughter, after all.

"You're…going to evade this one as well, aren't you?"

His sudden words shook her from her thoughts, and she stood up, heading towards where he stood.

"…yes, grandfather. This time, and the next. And each one after that…same as every time before."

He turned, and she noticed there was pain in his eyes as they met her own. A twinge of guilt ripped across her chest, and she twisted her head to the side, raising one hand to touch the window glass as though she was deeply interested in whatever the students were doing outside.

It was her turn to avoid eye contact, and she smiled ruefully, once again. 

They really are so very alike.

He would understand her reasons without her needing to say much more.

Konoemon sighed, laying one hand onto her right shoulder.

"Do you believe in fate, Konoka?"

Both of her hands were touching the window glass now, and she pulled her shoulders together; away from him in such a way that she suddenly seemed fragile before his eyes. As if the weight of her heritage had finally taken its toll on her, and all that remained was few broken shards of her soul.

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes, and the sudden thought of taking her into his arms came to his mind. He wanted to hold her, sit her upon his lap and whisper words of protection to her as he often had when she was but a little child. 

Yet she is almost a full grown woman now, and those assurances he had once uttered during those nights when she couldn't sleep are now nothing but empty promises. Her life is her own. She would have to find a way to stand up by herself. 

Her wings have fully grown. It was about time that she learns how to fly.

His hands began to tremble, reminding him of his age. He withdrew them, clutching them into tight fists behind his back.

"I believe whatever happens will happen. But before we start guessing what is to come in the future, we should try to grasp it, and do the best that we can."

He chuckled, the laughter sounding dry even to his own ears. Yet there was a glint of adoration in his eyes as he looked at her.

She was so very like his younger self, firm and unyielding… though not without the gentleness of her mother as well.

His voice was serious when he spoke.

"Then you must know that these Omiais are for your own good. That I am trying all I can to lessen the burden upon your shoulders. If it is fate that you are born to carry the weight as heiress to both Associations, the most I could do is find someone-"

"-and I already have."

His eyes widened as she spun to face him, shattered pieces of her soul once again whole. She now stood with confidence before him, traces of that former weakness no longer evident as deep brown eyes glow wise beyond her years. For a moment he was taken back by the aura of power in the woman in front of him.

"I remember…when I was a child, I used to go my way to cause as much trouble as possible. I knew what you and daddy were planning for me…and I resented it. I didn't want my destiny to be set, didn't want my fate to have been written before I had any say in the matter. I wanted you to give me some form of reprimand. Yell at me. Anything,…anything to force me to accept it."

Konoka shook her head.

"…nothing. The more I pushed, the more you two seemed to spoil me. Yielded to me, as though you knew what I was going through…and you let me do everything I wanted, until it was time for me to face what I was born to become. I later understood. I grew up. I learned to accept it. I learned obedience, patience…learned everything I needed to, so as not to fail yours and father's expectations."

Her head was slightly bowed, as she looked down towards her hands.

"But there is one thing I will never let out of my grasp. One thing I will never leave for fate to decide."

For a while they were immobile and silent. The figure of a certain raven-haired samurai could be seen below, about to enter the building in which they both stood.

Konoemon stroked his beard once more.

"Setsuna."

Konoka remained silent, her eyes following the half demon's every movement. Konoemon did not fail to notice the warmth in them, as his granddaughter lovingly gazed at her protector.

The headmaster sighed.

"I've been trying…with all those Omiais. But I never could get your mind off of her. I've already known that you've been taken by her since you two first met, those many years ago. What I don't understand is why you insist on taking her around in circles in your relationship. If you are to deny everyone else from entering your life, then you could at least-"

Konoka giggled, as she turned away from the windows once more.

"But you must admit, though. Secchan is really cute when she's confused."

Her expression quickly changed to one of sorrow, and her voice softened as she continued to speak.

"Remember after we fell into the lake? And Secchan decided to leave to train harder…I'd asked you then, without her knowledge…. I'd asked you to take her back to Shinmeiryuu. Then, later…I'd asked you to take her in as my secret guardian, so that I could be at least closer in distance to her while she insists on protecting me from the shadows."

Konoemon chuckled.

"And you'd taken me by surprise when you asked me that, too. Why not take her in as a friend? Why not go to her? After all…I would think that despite the innocent outward appearance, my granddaughter doesn't need much protecting."

"Oh, but I really was powerless, gramps!"

Konoka grinned.

"My powers didn't awaken until later, remember? When Setsuna was shot…and I just had to jump with her…"

The old man nodded, looking at his granddaughter thoughtfully.

"But why, though?"

Konoka closed her eyes, a nostalgic ache tugging at her heart.

"…because more than anything in this world…I love her. Because right here, right now, with everything going on…I know she wouldn't be comfortable if I tell her that I love her before she was ready to hear it…and I don't want my love towards her to affect what she feels towards me. I believe Secchan loves me…as a very close friend. As someone she has been taking care of. I don't want our relationship to be ruined when she realizes that the 'Kono-chan' she is protecting is not all that innocent and helpless as she believes. That I wish to spread my own wings around her…and protect her as well."

A knock resounded from the door, and Konoka began to walk towards it, finishing her speech in a hushed voice so that the person standing outside wouldn't hear.

"…because I am afraid of what should happen if I should tell her. Would she leave me because she doesn't feel the same? Would she hurt herself if she feels the same…but knows that our love is impossible? More importantly… I love the me that I am with her. The true self that protects as well as allowing herself to be protected by the person she loves. Because I am selfish, and I want as much of her as I can get…even if it means that I have to break my own heart, and accept that the only love she can give me is one of friendship…and she would shy away should I stand too close."

Konoka stopped, one hand on the doorknob.

"I can't live without her. And I will do anything. Anything…for her."

Before Konoemon could reply, Konoka had opened the door.

"Konok-"

Before either the headmaster or the samurai could utter a single word, Konoka had rushed towards the raven haired girl, arms wrapped around Setsuna's waist in a tight hug.

"Secchan!"

_/ You may never know the depth of my love for you. All I ask of you…is to let me love you. Let these eyes reflect only you./_

"Lets go, Secchan!"

As he watched the bright smile on his granddaughter's face as she pulls her guardian out of his office, Konoemon chuckled once more.

The road she had chosen will be a difficult one. But whatever the future may hold…he is content with the knowledge that Konoka will be living the best she can. Still…it wouldn't be able to stop him from trying to intervene…Try to find a way to ease the weight on her somehow…

"Granddaughter, don't forget the Omiai tomorrow!"

Outside the door Konoka pouts, clinging tighter to Setsuna.

"Mou….gramps!"

------------

End.

\/p


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